Loving a paerson is hard and why am I always love a person which in d ends no blossom?!! I reM. when ii was 17 years old was like tat & this year also like tat but in a different situation. Seriously when ii like or love a person I'm very good at hidding it, even my closest friend, ii dOn tell she wont even know. Haha!! This which I'm very proud of myself, heheEex. ^^But seriously even when liking a person is hard cOs ii will think of d past which really hurts deeply, although ever since my last ex & ii had broken up coming 4 months but I will never 4gEt every moments & every words he say always in my mind. When being wif him, I feel sO happy, he gave me d gentle & patience which ii never found in my 1st love. Seriously every details, moments wif him will forever stayed wif me, these memories are not like keypad "backspace" which u wanted to delete away means delete away. So far past 20 years of my life these 2 guys are d most memorable. My last ex although we stead was short but he really very nice person, of course there's ugly truth why we broken up but to me is a happy, sweet memories. As for my 1st love, omg!!! Damn terrible, our break was a nightmare to me, serious. Till now ii think this will be my probia & make me hard to trust guys. Actually to speak d truth, both have d same pattern but my last ex was better compared to my 1st love. Well, anyway this showed that how much we had loved each other before but already past. I know they had move on, as for me I'm stuck. Every time ii wish to move on, ii hesitate. Why??
Cos d fear of being hurt again, ii dared not go into another relationship cause I'm really scared & I need sercurity which very hard la.. So this guy which recently ii had crushed wif, I'm still observing as ii don wish myself fallen deeper & ii know is one-sided. However ii know quite alot from him & ii guess ii know his hidden words & feeling, I really feel sad for him, it bleed in my heart too but d only reson ii wish to know is why his ex & him broken up. And their relationship is really very long. Haix, love is so complicated. *headache**
But what ii know his ex already have a boyfriend & watever ii guess all Bingo!! Wat ii need is d reason & if ii know, another step of understanding him deeper. Well, ii think ii just wish to understand him deeper but not to the extend of love la. And one funny things is ii realised all d guys ii had liked or loved either same age as me or younger, cannot be 5 years older than me. HAHA!! Seriously funniest things is when ppl interested in u, u might not be interested back same logic that ii understand ii intereted that person but maybe he not interested in me. I already can prepared all d negative thoughts. Haix.. And whenever this thought occurs, it flash back my past memories.. :( Tell me how, if there's one pill that can take away all d past memories & d troubled ii feeling now, cost $10,000 ii also will buy lo, just to eat it & forget. haha!
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