After yesterday having time with someone, ii think finally ii have come to senses. It might be hurt to me but ii do really see the reality. Every relationship is sweet at first but it would be very unpleasant eventually & worst if either u still have feeling 4 him or still hold a place in your heart seeing him with another girl.
I strongly believe each one of us will get our happiness one day bt how and where is everyone searching for. If a person without relationship, isn't it very pathetic?? But ii don mean relationship is very important depends on individual.
I not sure do ii still have feeling for him bt clearly ii know there's a small part of my heart, he still hold a place. Actually I'm silently waiting for him & always believe he still have feeling for me but after yesterday, I know I'm being foolish & wake up senses. Finally, he go through wat ii had go through, hope he can understand tat kind of feeling & ii can say it is not pleasant. Well, I'm happy for him tat he had knew that what's the right girl he's looking for . Although it's still abit hurt but isn't if he's happy, u are happy too??
What make me come to senses is after yesterday he told me his incident which ii find no point holding on or worth it. If continue liking him is just a torture for me. Maybe we are not meant to be so y not putting down is the best solution & ii will wait patiently for my next relationship.
We were once so in love & finally we end it nicely as a friend & maybe friends like buddy, lol. One thing ii believe no one can replace it is, ii was once love him more than anyone else do & understand him more than anyone else do. Haha!
By the way, there's one thing ii would like to add on. There were once ii post a meaningful quote which actually meant for this guy friend of mine & if he still can't get it, 4get it.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Y am ii like this??..
I hate myself ever since ii re-open school. I feel myself being useless, lack of motivation & not open up.Everything ii do just feel useless.
Well, the reasons I/m being like this ii don denied I/m lazy, dwelling the past, lost my spiritual food & not certain about the future. Actually there's so much ii want to do bt ii just caN't do it.
Actually d main things ii want is need ppl encourage, motivate me & challenge me so can push me. I dont ask doesn't mean ii don need. I'm not good at expressing so mostly ii kept it silent. No one in d world understand me & know wat ii thinking. Who will be there 4 me when ii need some1?? I think just leave me in lurch & let me die ba. I lost all my motivation, direction & sprit. Not knowing what ii want is suffering & indeed. Tat's how ii feel & ii feel like dying.
CH was right, ii caNt put down & what d fucking hell am ii holding to it?!! Yes, ii missed all d past memories & ii don denied ii wan to go back to d past. But is it possible?? I think I'm now very stupid 4 thinking this way.
I look at other couple, ii don understand y ii can't be like them?? I look at my friends & observe the way they behave, their mentality y ii can't be like them?? U may say I'm comparing bt it's true ii don feel myself are good enough.
The guys ii like, they have the potential & very good, ii feel ii not good enough 4 them & they deserve a better gal rather a gal like me. Tat's how ii feel bt nothing ii can do.
Can ii really enter into Poly?? Can ii go through these 2 years in Higher Nitec?? Can ii cope with Studies & Work together?? Can ii become a better person?? Can ii have my motivation & direction back?? Can I find my Mr. Right / True love soon?? All d doubts ii have, can ii do it??
I wanna give up le, and y?? I dare not ask doesn't mean ii don need bt if ii really do, how many respond can ii get?? I also wanna become a person which is giving than receiving bt ii don know how. Can anyone guide me??
I really need a person who will always be there 4 me as well as ii wanna be independent. Actually from bottom of my heart ii feel empty. Really really empty. Thought of seeing physiologist or undergoing counseling. Haix, what should ii do?? I dislike myself now..
Well, the reasons I/m being like this ii don denied I/m lazy, dwelling the past, lost my spiritual food & not certain about the future. Actually there's so much ii want to do bt ii just caN't do it.
Actually d main things ii want is need ppl encourage, motivate me & challenge me so can push me. I dont ask doesn't mean ii don need. I'm not good at expressing so mostly ii kept it silent. No one in d world understand me & know wat ii thinking. Who will be there 4 me when ii need some1?? I think just leave me in lurch & let me die ba. I lost all my motivation, direction & sprit. Not knowing what ii want is suffering & indeed. Tat's how ii feel & ii feel like dying.
CH was right, ii caNt put down & what d fucking hell am ii holding to it?!! Yes, ii missed all d past memories & ii don denied ii wan to go back to d past. But is it possible?? I think I'm now very stupid 4 thinking this way.
I look at other couple, ii don understand y ii can't be like them?? I look at my friends & observe the way they behave, their mentality y ii can't be like them?? U may say I'm comparing bt it's true ii don feel myself are good enough.
The guys ii like, they have the potential & very good, ii feel ii not good enough 4 them & they deserve a better gal rather a gal like me. Tat's how ii feel bt nothing ii can do.
Can ii really enter into Poly?? Can ii go through these 2 years in Higher Nitec?? Can ii cope with Studies & Work together?? Can ii become a better person?? Can ii have my motivation & direction back?? Can I find my Mr. Right / True love soon?? All d doubts ii have, can ii do it??
I wanna give up le, and y?? I dare not ask doesn't mean ii don need bt if ii really do, how many respond can ii get?? I also wanna become a person which is giving than receiving bt ii don know how. Can anyone guide me??
I really need a person who will always be there 4 me as well as ii wanna be independent. Actually from bottom of my heart ii feel empty. Really really empty. Thought of seeing physiologist or undergoing counseling. Haix, what should ii do?? I dislike myself now..
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