Tell me wat to do??

Bloggy, tell me wat to do ii really feel exhausted, mentally unwell. I just want to be loved & love someone after my past relationship tat all are failed but y it seems so difficult for me?? Recently ii fell for a guy, he's good but there's stH in him ii know ii cant accept. I don wish to reveal cOs it seems noot nice to do that however if he's not like that maybe ii will love him alot but after yesterday we chated on d phone, ii knew he alr have someone else in mind & tat lady love him too. Y, tell me y... Y always ii fell for a guy which ii suppose not to & it will hurt me emotionally?!!! I know i'm sttupid, I'm silly but ii cant help it.

Secondly, this is my ex. I'm graceful tat he had been protected me all this while although we are now friends but do u know that ii rather u dont do tat?!! Cos actually it made me feel tat ii don deserved it & ii don wish to owned u anything. Although d feeling is great but what if one day u are gone too & ii rely u too much?? I will lost, insecured & upset for long. Actually ii still care & concerned u too but ii cant tell u cOs ii know u had someone else, wat's d point ii telling u but ii also don wish u to be confused or mixed feeling. Even u wont, ii will also choose not to say... Seriously if can love u back ii will but ii don think so le cOs don think is d right time yet & u are right there's really alot barrier not only u, me too also feel this way. I can say ii know very well that these two guys ii used to love ii can have them pysically but not their heart anymore.. Maybe this is reality ba.

Seriously ii really envy girls that they have another person love them so much, y ii don have?? Beside ii knowing my weaknesses ii also feel tat I'm not good enough for any guy. Honestly ii don think I'm good but I'm trying but so wat ii keep trying?!! Nobody will appreciate me anyway. I don seek for attention, ii don ask for care & concern but still y nobody realise it?? Am ii really not likeable, noticeable?? Seriously, I'm not like other girls they can express wat they want verbally & through their action, ii just need a guy that without ii expressing but can see through me. Sometimes it's really damn hard finding someone u love and he love u back, even if found but there's lots of problems too. Haix..

After all, everything is so complicated. Y do ii love d wrong guy & brought upon myself miserable. I don mind anyone scolding me now at least ii will feel better. I know surely will say my time not come yet but god knows d process is long-suffering.. Anyway ii can wait but ii cant wait forever cOs ii will also change my mindset too.