I guess I no longer be the same, not only less cheerful, less simple but more quiet as well. And the reason was simple, I'm no longer naive & simple, I throughly see the ugly side of humans & seriously I HATE IT TO CORE! Y must u ugly people spoil the innocent & simple-minded people?!! Does really doing this u makes u happy?!! I seriously suggest u see PSYCHIATRIST, u are SICK! U know?? Well, it doesn't matter, no ones like to admit they are sick or crazy even though they are one, haha.

I remembered I told one of my guy friend all this prob & guess what he say?? He said: "Jaslin, u've really grow up & I'm so happy for you." I was like "hEy I telling u all this prob & can u be more serious?!!!" He laughed & continue saying: "Yes, I'm being serious with u too & I'm really happy." My facial expression (-_-)"' Anyway, thinking back, maybe I really grow up if not not I won't be thinking complicated and live simple.

Anyway I've to thanks these ugly side of people cause u made naive people smart & I strongly believe in KARMA. There's a saying: "What's goes around comes around" so it's only a matter of time. Another thing, because of these ugly people, ugly stuff, I lost trust in people. Not only that I learned to be Independence, same goes to relationship as well. After been through all the hurts, I dare not love again. Even though I have someone in mind, I dare not confessed & don't have the courage as well. "I'm Useless right?" I always thinking myself like this. It no longer matters who walk beside me & end the journey because I can't even move the first step & haven't put all the past behind me. Even if I thought of trying, I'm afraid & the past experience keep taunting me. I dunno how, I really dunno..

And the someone in mind, I guess he also have someone else in mind too, the cycle just goes around. I remembered I had liked a guys for 2 years without him knowing & I guess this time round will be also like this. Sometimes I don't understand y, the person u really can click well & like can't be together and still I will still choose u. HAHA! B-) I wonder, what if I really confessed my feeling to u?? What your reaction is??Will u reject me?? Sometimes I just hope that u can feel it & know it without verbally saying out however I know we are impossible.

Haix.. So many things happen & tons of emotions but none be express out. How I wish just leave everything behind & MIA. I too exhausted but don't think so I can, my work place need me & I've 5 projects in my hands now, not to forget my roles as a daughter too. Worst still, ugly people & giving u all the shit, don't give a damn. I wish to give up eveything, can I?? *sigh. I think stop here ba, tat's all.

My question of what is friends...

I've questioning myself this question... What friends for & what does friendship means? Do u guys really believe true friends exist in this realistic world?? For me is a no-no. I find that in putting good words, friends are to help each other but in another words, friends are using each other, isn't it? Last time I used to be very good to all my friends but they prove me wrong by treating them right, shall I still have to be kind towards them? Well, it's a tough decision for me to decide.

Can we live without friends?? Been asking myself this question . Ive been thinking in future, we will each have our own lifestyle to live, do we really need friends? haha! I know what is friends about but I don't think in this world, friends exist. Sometimes I just love to isolate myself from others & people said" two heads is better than one" but I find that if no failure u will never learn & if so, what is think out of the box then??

My recent updates & worrying + how I feel...

Yo! It been quite some time not updating my blog le, lol. Yesterday had a great chat with Mavis Ong, 1st time we chat from 10am till midnight 2 am. *cool~ HAHA!! We chat alot alot.. Well, wat's impress me most that she told me that she find herself very old already, hopefully gEt into a relationship to stable & bear a child before the age of 30. I was like... ...(stunned) Very old meh 22 years old?!!! I'm noot even reach 21 yet lehhh.. Hahahaha! Then sudden came an weird uncle told us that there were a couple malay quarelling, we two looking at each other... But I admire Mavis response, she dared & firmed to say: "Dunno, nothing to do with us" in chinese. For me, I will see how the situation is & might shout loudly. Pheww... In the end, we lied said going home but actually we changed to another place continue our chatting. LOL!


Oh ya, these few days I've been a good girl lehh, dunno which of my mind go hay wire. After work go home do housework. Though doing bit by bit to packed, clean, tidy but I believed in no time I can see the result of my house turned into a place where I always think. HAHAHAHA! B-) And and and tml shall be a day of we 3 sisters gathering after my work, hahahahaha! *looking forward*


Well, these past few weeks, learned alot & gain lots of knowledge. Though I loss something but I gained more than what I loss & more valuable & I realised that in life is full of up's & down, this is y when down, people throw u rubbish, turn into rubbishbin & if throw u lemond, turn into lemonade. My this job is going to move out soon after 16 May, still thinking should I find another job or relax for the time being?? Finding another job isn't easy, new environment, new people got to adapt & worry I can't cope my studies as this is my final semester. Another side if relax for the time being I can fully concentrate my studies but no income, how how how?? Actually what I want & looking for is a job that solely taking care of the shop & at the same time I can study. But where the hell can I find?!!! haIx...

Another thing, I'm not going to share my feelings & my probs already. If people misunderstood of me, let it be as I believed action speaks louder than words. Sometimes it's tiring, I do hope someone truely know me well without speaking vrbally at times.

My thoughts..

Hello Blog! I'm here to update. *SIGH* I feel that as I grow, my smile is getting lesser, responsibility getting heavier & expectation getting higher. Not only these, ppl are harder to get along, things getting more complicated & expenses getting higher... Y? y? y? Tell me y??


These few days I been staying at home, y? Cause I wanna be alone for the time being, I wish to cut off any contact wif any human beings (friends or any others) EXCEPT my grandma. I realised I been too busy with my life & spending little time with my grandma sO today I specially spend as much time as I can to keep my grandma accompany.


I have TONS of Negative feelings, thoughts, things happening inside & around me, I guess this is y my smile getting lesser. Even if I smile, who will know is a genuine smile or fake smile. Lastly, how am I going to solve it?? Is not like tv drama, there will always be someone there to help u, care for u whereas reality are all about depending yourself.  I also wish someone will be there for me but not I wish means will be granted neither  liking a person mean u like and like but the other person might not like you back too. Solution is simple but cruel, one word "accept the facts."

Nobody understand how I feel...

Seriously I had enough for all the shit I been receiving from all humans! Not directly but indirectly. Is not abit I want to complaint but seriously I daMn tired & sick of it. When can all these shit end?!!!

1stly, Is u guys don like her & this is y I did not call her. And now u guys blame me for not calling her. Whatever,as I consider u guys feeling also wrong, I didn't also wrong. I don ever wanna plan any events anymore.
*Pissed*

2ndly, If u don't like me, go away as far as u can. This show that u don't understand me enough. I don't care whatever your reasons is. To me, is just a defends for yourself & excuses. And c'mon u scolding your friends vulgar words?!! Do u know how hurting?? For me I will never scold my friends vulgar words no matter how angry I am. Think carefully  I'm not your Vending Machine that u can vend your anger at me.

I'm utterly disappointed in u, our friendship already had crack. And is not once, many times. Just like a vase is broken, the crack is there & forever will.

Learnt something...

I learnt something yesterday & Monday. Let's talk what's all that about it.


Well, I learnt that when you're unhappy of something, think another way. Just like I reaally dislike my teacher way of handling things but imagine if we were him, what & how would you do instead?? And also, some ppl u have to approach them then they will tell u, help u or advise u while some will more sensitive & initiative  towards it. So I know & learn what to do le, some ppl u just have to approach, open yR mouth & asked not everyone can know.. LOL!! And what I can say those who are sensitive & initiative are d ones with HIGH EQ! I was known these spoken by two of my friends & one are my guy friend who bought me My Melody File on Tues, 22 Feb 2011. Oh yeah, all these incident happened I mentioned above are on Monday & I feel appreciated that they accompanied me to Bishan Park as I'm feeling emotional that day. "


As for yesterday, I'm very angry & pissed off wif some ppl talk things without thinking. But thanks to my dear friend advise, she patiently told me that instead of being angry, y not think that they are just thoughtless & if I know I better than them, I shouldn't feel angry if not d more I angry I'm like them speak angry words which make myself like a fool too. And instead of being angry or KPKB, learnt to smile & turn away. Seriously I find it is hard to smile turn away but I will and want to learn. I think if ever I master it one day, I will become a mild-tempered person. Yeah, 4gEt to add on, possibilities ppl like to see & make you angry, if u aren't angry, u win. Haha!! Then another thing is accepting or tolerating others no matter they no brain to speak or purposly making you angry. Well, it's easy to read & say but come to practicing it's hard lorr. But I want, I will & I can do it. Hope this is a process for me to make changes. :)


AND AND AND I really hope the person I really care, he can cheer up. It really affecting me. I dunno wat's so good about her which make you holding back from what you are or you can be. I'm willing to do anything just to see your smile again. Sometimes I really wish she's dead (evil me) but most important I really hope to see your real smile & not faking it.

So down...

It has been a long time I diNt update my Blog le, haha! B-) Today's my daMn EMBRASSING day lor! Cos my school skirt torn!!! It's like 15 years of my school life & this is the 1st time happened in my life & NEVER EVER WORE A PANTS IN SCHOOL DE LOR TILL TODAY!!! LOL LOL!! Thanks to DGWL ah, haha! Eversince playing wIf u, my school shoes tear, bag spoilt & now my school shirt torn. =.="'
But anyway really very Funny & Fun lor, HAHA!!! B-)

This week not in a good mood, lots of thoughts & feelings which made mE very sad. 1st of all, my ex bf msg mE to listen his explaination due to some bad incidence which I do not wish to mention & seriously his msg made me think alot alot. I know no point, it's past & think of the incidence I very angry lorr but still wish him cheer up. Overall, it's kinda complicated sO it's hard to explain.

And this month February very stressful cOs exam & Role-played coming soon. I really under some pressure & I feel stressful & because like this which made me think of my ex how we overcome our difficulties together during school day & Exam but it's over. Our memories was a history but really... ... ... :( Sometimes I wish time could stop, I'm very tired.. Not pysically but mentally as well.

*SIGH* Another thing I know someone been unhappy lately, I can see it, feel it & know it but I choose to keep quiet cOs I know silent speaks a thousand words. However I wish u can put down ba cOs seeing u like this my heartache too. Seriously I have tons reasons not saying I - - - - u but I really hope u are happy cOs seeing u happy I am happy too. Really, sometimes I just wish u stop seeing her sO it woNt remind u of your past & seeing u upset. I'm in a situation tat I'm feeling down & feeling upset for someone else too.

Seriously I'm not Flirt or Frickle-minded, just can't help it my emotional feeling this way & tell u wat, that someone I know we wouldn't have result or end up together too sO... yeah I think I stop here ba, I couldn't wrote anymore..:(