Hello Blog! I'm here to update. *SIGH* I feel that as I grow, my smile is getting lesser, responsibility getting heavier & expectation getting higher. Not only these, ppl are harder to get along, things getting more complicated & expenses getting higher... Y? y? y? Tell me y??
These few days I been staying at home, y? Cause I wanna be alone for the time being, I wish to cut off any contact wif any human beings (friends or any others) EXCEPT my grandma. I realised I been too busy with my life & spending little time with my grandma sO today I specially spend as much time as I can to keep my grandma accompany.
I have TONS of Negative feelings, thoughts, things happening inside & around me, I guess this is y my smile getting lesser. Even if I smile, who will know is a genuine smile or fake smile. Lastly, how am I going to solve it?? Is not like tv drama, there will always be someone there to help u, care for u whereas reality are all about depending yourself. I also wish someone will be there for me but not I wish means will be granted neither liking a person mean u like and like but the other person might not like you back too. Solution is simple but cruel, one word "accept the facts."
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Nobody understand how I feel...
Seriously I had enough for all the shit I been receiving from all humans! Not directly but indirectly. Is not abit I want to complaint but seriously I daMn tired & sick of it. When can all these shit end?!!!
1stly, Is u guys don like her & this is y I did not call her. And now u guys blame me for not calling her. Whatever,as I consider u guys feeling also wrong, I didn't also wrong. I don ever wanna plan any events anymore.
*Pissed*
2ndly, If u don't like me, go away as far as u can. This show that u don't understand me enough. I don't care whatever your reasons is. To me, is just a defends for yourself & excuses. And c'mon u scolding your friends vulgar words?!! Do u know how hurting?? For me I will never scold my friends vulgar words no matter how angry I am. Think carefully I'm not your Vending Machine that u can vend your anger at me.
I'm utterly disappointed in u, our friendship already had crack. And is not once, many times. Just like a vase is broken, the crack is there & forever will.
1stly, Is u guys don like her & this is y I did not call her. And now u guys blame me for not calling her. Whatever,as I consider u guys feeling also wrong, I didn't also wrong. I don ever wanna plan any events anymore.
*Pissed*
2ndly, If u don't like me, go away as far as u can. This show that u don't understand me enough. I don't care whatever your reasons is. To me, is just a defends for yourself & excuses. And c'mon u scolding your friends vulgar words?!! Do u know how hurting?? For me I will never scold my friends vulgar words no matter how angry I am. Think carefully I'm not your Vending Machine that u can vend your anger at me.
I'm utterly disappointed in u, our friendship already had crack. And is not once, many times. Just like a vase is broken, the crack is there & forever will.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Learnt something...
I learnt something yesterday & Monday. Let's talk what's all that about it.
Well, I learnt that when you're unhappy of something, think another way. Just like I reaally dislike my teacher way of handling things but imagine if we were him, what & how would you do instead?? And also, some ppl u have to approach them then they will tell u, help u or advise u while some will more sensitive & initiative towards it. So I know & learn what to do le, some ppl u just have to approach, open yR mouth & asked not everyone can know.. LOL!! And what I can say those who are sensitive & initiative are d ones with HIGH EQ! I was known these spoken by two of my friends & one are my guy friend who bought me My Melody File on Tues, 22 Feb 2011. Oh yeah, all these incident happened I mentioned above are on Monday & I feel appreciated that they accompanied me to Bishan Park as I'm feeling emotional that day. "
As for yesterday, I'm very angry & pissed off wif some ppl talk things without thinking. But thanks to my dear friend advise, she patiently told me that instead of being angry, y not think that they are just thoughtless & if I know I better than them, I shouldn't feel angry if not d more I angry I'm like them speak angry words which make myself like a fool too. And instead of being angry or KPKB, learnt to smile & turn away. Seriously I find it is hard to smile turn away but I will and want to learn. I think if ever I master it one day, I will become a mild-tempered person. Yeah, 4gEt to add on, possibilities ppl like to see & make you angry, if u aren't angry, u win. Haha!! Then another thing is accepting or tolerating others no matter they no brain to speak or purposly making you angry. Well, it's easy to read & say but come to practicing it's hard lorr. But I want, I will & I can do it. Hope this is a process for me to make changes. :)
AND AND AND I really hope the person I really care, he can cheer up. It really affecting me. I dunno wat's so good about her which make you holding back from what you are or you can be. I'm willing to do anything just to see your smile again. Sometimes I really wish she's dead (evil me) but most important I really hope to see your real smile & not faking it.
Well, I learnt that when you're unhappy of something, think another way. Just like I reaally dislike my teacher way of handling things but imagine if we were him, what & how would you do instead?? And also, some ppl u have to approach them then they will tell u, help u or advise u while some will more sensitive & initiative towards it. So I know & learn what to do le, some ppl u just have to approach, open yR mouth & asked not everyone can know.. LOL!! And what I can say those who are sensitive & initiative are d ones with HIGH EQ! I was known these spoken by two of my friends & one are my guy friend who bought me My Melody File on Tues, 22 Feb 2011. Oh yeah, all these incident happened I mentioned above are on Monday & I feel appreciated that they accompanied me to Bishan Park as I'm feeling emotional that day. "
As for yesterday, I'm very angry & pissed off wif some ppl talk things without thinking. But thanks to my dear friend advise, she patiently told me that instead of being angry, y not think that they are just thoughtless & if I know I better than them, I shouldn't feel angry if not d more I angry I'm like them speak angry words which make myself like a fool too. And instead of being angry or KPKB, learnt to smile & turn away. Seriously I find it is hard to smile turn away but I will and want to learn. I think if ever I master it one day, I will become a mild-tempered person. Yeah, 4gEt to add on, possibilities ppl like to see & make you angry, if u aren't angry, u win. Haha!! Then another thing is accepting or tolerating others no matter they no brain to speak or purposly making you angry. Well, it's easy to read & say but come to practicing it's hard lorr. But I want, I will & I can do it. Hope this is a process for me to make changes. :)
AND AND AND I really hope the person I really care, he can cheer up. It really affecting me. I dunno wat's so good about her which make you holding back from what you are or you can be. I'm willing to do anything just to see your smile again. Sometimes I really wish she's dead (evil me) but most important I really hope to see your real smile & not faking it.
Friday, February 11, 2011
So down...
It has been a long time I diNt update my Blog le, haha! B-) Today's my daMn EMBRASSING day lor! Cos my school skirt torn!!! It's like 15 years of my school life & this is the 1st time happened in my life & NEVER EVER WORE A PANTS IN SCHOOL DE LOR TILL TODAY!!! LOL LOL!! Thanks to DGWL ah, haha! Eversince playing wIf u, my school shoes tear, bag spoilt & now my school shirt torn. =.="'
But anyway really very Funny & Fun lor, HAHA!!! B-)
This week not in a good mood, lots of thoughts & feelings which made mE very sad. 1st of all, my ex bf msg mE to listen his explaination due to some bad incidence which I do not wish to mention & seriously his msg made me think alot alot. I know no point, it's past & think of the incidence I very angry lorr but still wish him cheer up. Overall, it's kinda complicated sO it's hard to explain.
And this month February very stressful cOs exam & Role-played coming soon. I really under some pressure & I feel stressful & because like this which made me think of my ex how we overcome our difficulties together during school day & Exam but it's over. Our memories was a history but really... ... ... :( Sometimes I wish time could stop, I'm very tired.. Not pysically but mentally as well.
*SIGH* Another thing I know someone been unhappy lately, I can see it, feel it & know it but I choose to keep quiet cOs I know silent speaks a thousand words. However I wish u can put down ba cOs seeing u like this my heartache too. Seriously I have tons reasons not saying I - - - - u but I really hope u are happy cOs seeing u happy I am happy too. Really, sometimes I just wish u stop seeing her sO it woNt remind u of your past & seeing u upset. I'm in a situation tat I'm feeling down & feeling upset for someone else too.
Seriously I'm not Flirt or Frickle-minded, just can't help it my emotional feeling this way & tell u wat, that someone I know we wouldn't have result or end up together too sO... yeah I think I stop here ba, I couldn't wrote anymore..:(
But anyway really very Funny & Fun lor, HAHA!!! B-)
This week not in a good mood, lots of thoughts & feelings which made mE very sad. 1st of all, my ex bf msg mE to listen his explaination due to some bad incidence which I do not wish to mention & seriously his msg made me think alot alot. I know no point, it's past & think of the incidence I very angry lorr but still wish him cheer up. Overall, it's kinda complicated sO it's hard to explain.
And this month February very stressful cOs exam & Role-played coming soon. I really under some pressure & I feel stressful & because like this which made me think of my ex how we overcome our difficulties together during school day & Exam but it's over. Our memories was a history but really... ... ... :( Sometimes I wish time could stop, I'm very tired.. Not pysically but mentally as well.
*SIGH* Another thing I know someone been unhappy lately, I can see it, feel it & know it but I choose to keep quiet cOs I know silent speaks a thousand words. However I wish u can put down ba cOs seeing u like this my heartache too. Seriously I have tons reasons not saying I - - - - u but I really hope u are happy cOs seeing u happy I am happy too. Really, sometimes I just wish u stop seeing her sO it woNt remind u of your past & seeing u upset. I'm in a situation tat I'm feeling down & feeling upset for someone else too.
Seriously I'm not Flirt or Frickle-minded, just can't help it my emotional feeling this way & tell u wat, that someone I know we wouldn't have result or end up together too sO... yeah I think I stop here ba, I couldn't wrote anymore..:(
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Im feel like giving up on my studies, should I??
Omg, I dunno this semester can I survive?? Report Writing is killing me & CSO is a subject which no interest & the more I study, d more I feel like burning the book away. I can imagine my result for this semester, proberly will really do badly which I don wish to.. *sigh*
Worst till, I've heard next year semester the Module is totally hardcore like mad & very dead. All about internet stuff like wat kind of virus, sercurity etc. Hello!!! Are we studying Customer Service Management or Technology?!! Though I know it's just ONLY ABIT of link but I find really not necessary de lorr!!!! Well, I feel like giving up... Then regarding about Report Writing, my Form Teacher says Poly will "LAGI" more Report Writing, which now the Report Writing I already do like siao & complaint like mad, can't imagine Poly life.. FML!! Kill me wif a knife then.
Seriously, I'm really very very very worried about it & u know wat?? Thinking back, I kinda regret when I was teens ii diNt work hard & learn well enough if not I wouldn't be struggling now.. Hopefully everything's goes well. I dare not reach the top of mountain cOs I'm afraid I will fall badly however I will keep climbing & just give my best.
P.S: " Poly you are near yet I feel u are sO far, am I able to reach you??" Sometimes I find myself sO contridating!
Worst till, I've heard next year semester the Module is totally hardcore like mad & very dead. All about internet stuff like wat kind of virus, sercurity etc. Hello!!! Are we studying Customer Service Management or Technology?!! Though I know it's just ONLY ABIT of link but I find really not necessary de lorr!!!! Well, I feel like giving up... Then regarding about Report Writing, my Form Teacher says Poly will "LAGI" more Report Writing, which now the Report Writing I already do like siao & complaint like mad, can't imagine Poly life.. FML!! Kill me wif a knife then.
Seriously, I'm really very very very worried about it & u know wat?? Thinking back, I kinda regret when I was teens ii diNt work hard & learn well enough if not I wouldn't be struggling now.. Hopefully everything's goes well. I dare not reach the top of mountain cOs I'm afraid I will fall badly however I will keep climbing & just give my best.
P.S: " Poly you are near yet I feel u are sO far, am I able to reach you??" Sometimes I find myself sO contridating!
Friday, January 14, 2011
U've been into my heart, do u know that??
Wow, it had been a long time for not updated my Blog le, here I am.. heEex. ^^ Blog! I'm in love!!! But but ii can't cOs ii knew there won't have result.
Well, this special guy have slowly, step a step enter into my heart. With him, ii will feel different emotion. Dunno y, when he was sad or sick, ii will feel upset & if he's happy or enthu, ii will feel the same as him.
Just recently, I had a guy friend told me he like me & hug me but I can't bring myself to hug him. And it's like very weird, that special guy sudden appear in my mind... I thought ii had given up on him cOs he did said something indirectly & ii knew we can never be together but just when my guy friend hug me ii pushed him away. Anyway ii dOn think he will like me too cOs of ... ... Maybe I like him will always keep inside my heart.
I reM. here a English saying: "some people are meant to be in love but not meant to be." I agree, probably I not meant to be wif him not even mention about liking him. Haha most funniest thing, he always thought I like another person but he doesn't know all along ii like him. Lol. However, I'm disappointed too cOs ii can't feel he like me at all... Maybe we're just good friend that only laugh together, play together but not into relationship. I don't mean soon but ii think will never too. Sometimes ii really envy of his ex-girlfriend, she got his heart & ii 99.9% gurantee that his heart still wif her no matter wat problems or feelings he facing. He will just keep it into his heart & ii doubt he will mention to me ba eventhough ii really wanted to know & really know him more. I really wish that if one day ii could know why they broken up & ii really feel pity that y they broke esp ii find that the person ii like is not bad.
Haha one thing he never know ii always doing something so that ii can know him more. Example hMmmm cannot say. Well, ii find it it's silly but ii just can't help it. And each time being wif him ii know him more which I'm really very glad about. Actually ii did something writing all the memories we had but when ii know he had someone else & yeah ii 4gOt to mention maybe is another girl or his ex & ii stopped but the moments we spent ii will never 4gEt. Yeah, ii hope one day we can mutual feeling for each other & together but really lor ii don think this day will come ba. *sigh! Hmmm well ii shall end here by saying liking someone can be sweet & romantic but sour, bitter & heartache at times... Well, let natural take it courses ba, maybe he's just not into me lo. saded**
Well, this special guy have slowly, step a step enter into my heart. With him, ii will feel different emotion. Dunno y, when he was sad or sick, ii will feel upset & if he's happy or enthu, ii will feel the same as him.
Just recently, I had a guy friend told me he like me & hug me but I can't bring myself to hug him. And it's like very weird, that special guy sudden appear in my mind... I thought ii had given up on him cOs he did said something indirectly & ii knew we can never be together but just when my guy friend hug me ii pushed him away. Anyway ii dOn think he will like me too cOs of ... ... Maybe I like him will always keep inside my heart.
I reM. here a English saying: "some people are meant to be in love but not meant to be." I agree, probably I not meant to be wif him not even mention about liking him. Haha most funniest thing, he always thought I like another person but he doesn't know all along ii like him. Lol. However, I'm disappointed too cOs ii can't feel he like me at all... Maybe we're just good friend that only laugh together, play together but not into relationship. I don't mean soon but ii think will never too. Sometimes ii really envy of his ex-girlfriend, she got his heart & ii 99.9% gurantee that his heart still wif her no matter wat problems or feelings he facing. He will just keep it into his heart & ii doubt he will mention to me ba eventhough ii really wanted to know & really know him more. I really wish that if one day ii could know why they broken up & ii really feel pity that y they broke esp ii find that the person ii like is not bad.
Haha one thing he never know ii always doing something so that ii can know him more. Example hMmmm cannot say. Well, ii find it it's silly but ii just can't help it. And each time being wif him ii know him more which I'm really very glad about. Actually ii did something writing all the memories we had but when ii know he had someone else & yeah ii 4gOt to mention maybe is another girl or his ex & ii stopped but the moments we spent ii will never 4gEt. Yeah, ii hope one day we can mutual feeling for each other & together but really lor ii don think this day will come ba. *sigh! Hmmm well ii shall end here by saying liking someone can be sweet & romantic but sour, bitter & heartache at times... Well, let natural take it courses ba, maybe he's just not into me lo. saded**
Monday, January 3, 2011
Dunno Y today's lots lof Inspiration!!!
Yo Bloggy, today ii am to blog again. Today stay @ home the whole day Facebook-ing!!! Lol. I think break record whole day Facebook for 12 hours lo.. Haha!!
And and and dunno y lots of inspiration today & ii post quite alot in my Facebook Status & ii wanna share, here it goes!!!
1st post: "If u were talking about me, for me & TO ME!!!! Yay yeaHe!!!!!! ^^ "
2nd post:
"Do u think is alike?? See if u can differentiates... haha!
* White lies vs. lies??
*Kind vs. stupid?? (ppl say when kind means stupid as ppl tk advantage & stupid ppl will also tk advantage.) So?? lol
*Cheating vs. bluffing??
*Intention vs. motive?
*Dislike vs.hate??
*Apart vs. a part??
*Love vs lust?? Haha if u can differeniates, u can gEt my meaning & another view of angle seeing all this. heEex. ^^"
3rd post: "Being Negative or having Weaknesses are nothing cOs there's Positive & Changes to make. So this is also y Life's full of Up & Down!!!! *wiNk** "
And the Last post:
Y this ♥ symbol like this< 3??? Cos it's not more than 3!!!! & eg. chocolate to elabourate...
One chocolate - You're my only one
Two chocolates - Missing u
Three chocalates - I love you
Sweet right?!! Dunno y it came into my mind few mins ago. =p
See omg!!! I'm sOooo proud of myself, like a genius today lor, haha!!! Anyway forgotten New Year New Begining New Look! Oh ya, just 4gOtten tat ii had perm my hair on 1 January 2011 haha. Kinda like it cOs very sick of straight hair already. ^^ aNd ya 31st Dec 2010 went Seoul Garden @ Ngee Ann wif Christina Yeo, Grace Lee, Don Koh & Kamy, after tat Barley & Amirul joined in 4 countdown. Omg!!!! D Fireworks was VERY very Very nice lor, thanks to all their choosing spot. Though feeling sticky la but had great fun!!! heEex. ^^
Btw, there's alot ii finally understood d meaning le today, eh~ ii dunno how to elabourate la just ii understood lor.. LOL!!! B-)
And and and dunno y lots of inspiration today & ii post quite alot in my Facebook Status & ii wanna share, here it goes!!!
1st post: "If u were talking about me, for me & TO ME!!!! Yay yeaHe!!!!!! ^^ "
2nd post:
"Do u think is alike?? See if u can differentiates... haha!
* White lies vs. lies??
*Kind vs. stupid?? (ppl say when kind means stupid as ppl tk advantage & stupid ppl will also tk advantage.) So?? lol
*Cheating vs. bluffing??
*Intention vs. motive?
*Dislike vs.hate??
*Apart vs. a part??
*Love vs lust?? Haha if u can differeniates, u can gEt my meaning & another view of angle seeing all this. heEex. ^^"
3rd post: "Being Negative or having Weaknesses are nothing cOs there's Positive & Changes to make. So this is also y Life's full of Up & Down!!!! *wiNk** "
And the Last post:
Y this ♥ symbol like this< 3??? Cos it's not more than 3!!!! & eg. chocolate to elabourate...
One chocolate - You're my only one
Two chocolates - Missing u
Three chocalates - I love you
Sweet right?!! Dunno y it came into my mind few mins ago. =p
See omg!!! I'm sOooo proud of myself, like a genius today lor, haha!!! Anyway forgotten New Year New Begining New Look! Oh ya, just 4gOtten tat ii had perm my hair on 1 January 2011 haha. Kinda like it cOs very sick of straight hair already. ^^ aNd ya 31st Dec 2010 went Seoul Garden @ Ngee Ann wif Christina Yeo, Grace Lee, Don Koh & Kamy, after tat Barley & Amirul joined in 4 countdown. Omg!!!! D Fireworks was VERY very Very nice lor, thanks to all their choosing spot. Though feeling sticky la but had great fun!!! heEex. ^^
Btw, there's alot ii finally understood d meaning le today, eh~ ii dunno how to elabourate la just ii understood lor.. LOL!!! B-)
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